Well, I just got home today from my fabulous, relaxing vacation. It was a family vacation, and I split it up between my mom and dad. It feels really good to be my age, and still enjoying my family vacations. I remember there were a few years where just the thought of a family vacation would make me turn the other way. Don't get me wrong, I love love love my family, and I love seeing my extended family, but the idea of taking off work for camping, or taking off work to go somewhere with my then serious boyfriend, or my friends to the lake for a week, the latter usually won. While on vacation, there were some pretty serious conversations going on.
For those of you who know me well, you know that politics is a passion of mine. I won't hide my conservatism at all, but what a lot of people may not realize, is there are a lot of things I'm liberal on too. This very topic was brought up, and if you know my mom, she can get pretty heated about it. That's where my passion comes from. My mom is also extremely conservative, more so than me. We were discussing the future of our nation, and where we see it going. One of my cousins is a teacher, and education is huge for her, obviously. So is health insurance. (see where I'm going with this???)
My mom is completely against a universal health care system, and for the most part, so am I. What scares me most about it, is that once the government starts paying for our health care, it can start getting to the point to where they can tell us how to live. I think that everyone in this country (that is here legally- meaning a Green Card, or Visa) should be eligible to receive some sort of health care. I think that it is the governments job to ensure that those who are not offered health care through their work, have some sort of affordable option for health care. Does it need to be mandated? No. Should I have to be required to show proof of my insurance every year when I file taxes? No. I should be given the opportunity to elect to take it, and hopefully my decision is a wise one, and I choose to get the insurance. Now, obviously, some people are going to assume that it won't happen to me, I'll just make sure I'm healthy. So offer them a solution, if you have to go to the ER or DR for something and you don't have it, if its urgent, give them like a 6 month period of standard care, and require that they then get insurance. IF they fail to follow through with their payments, then do some sort of penalty, tied to their employer. If they are unemployed, I think that free standard health care is sometimes necessary. COBRA is expensive. I'm a healthy, young female and my insurance is $300 a month on COBRA. RIDICULOUS. But if they are unemployed on their own will, and refuse COBRA, their own problem. Where is the personal accountability for people??? Can't our government trust us enough to do the right thing? I'm not saying that no one should get free health insurance, I think that if you truly can't afford it, then yes the government should help you out, but I don't think that I want the government telling me what I can and can't do for my diet. By 2014, each individual person will have to have their BMI recorded to their health care provider. Which means, if my BMI is too high, the government then is allowed to tell me what I can and can't eat, and put me on a diet. SORRY NO. I understand the obesity problem, but since when is it my fault that other people are obese? That may sound super insensitive, but because a large group of people can't choose to eat healthy, and not eat at Mc Donald's everyday, I have to suffer? Because the government cut funding to our schools, which in turn cut funding for PE classes and after school sports, I have to suffer? Why is it the government's responsibility to make sure we are healthy? Aren't we responsible for ourselves? Laws are in place to not hurt each other, and to be safe, so yes we need some guidance. But this kind of control is too much.
Insurance is expensive because the cost of the procedures. And the equipment. And the malpractice lawsuits. And the salaries of the Drs. And the cost of research. So here's an example of why its so high: I had a surgery about 4 months ago, that fixed a deviated septum (I had less than 25% airflow through my nose) and my tonsils removed. I paid a total of $3500 for this surgery (my insurance covered 90%- with a max payment from me being $2500). I received a bill from my doctor, for approx. $8,000, showing me what my insurance was expected to pay, and then the remainder to me. Well, I wanted to make sure that I didn't overpay, because we all know doctors won't give refunds, so I waited for my insurance quote. I got the insurance quote, and my insurance was charged over $27,000. For the hospital facilities, anesthesia,etc... now mind you, over $15,000 of that was because I had to stay overnight. Because of a doctors mistake. I aspirated during surgery, because he had messed up and was careless and had somehow gotten blood in my air tube down my throat, and into my lungs. It was supposed to be an outpatient surgery. I wasn't supposed to stay overnight. Meaning this $15,000 charged to my insurance, in which I had to pay $1500 towards, was HIS mistake. So why is it, that even though the Doctor screwed up, I have to pay? I think this is partly the reason why insurance is so high. If a doctor screws up, or complications occur because of that mistake, that the doctor should be charged. He should have to pay for it. I shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes. If doctors had to pay for their mistakes, I can guarantee that less mistakes would be made, because they would be more careful and extra cautious.
Also, this Obamacare, will now pay for abortions. I'm sorry, I am not against abortions. Sometimes its better than having a child. But why does the government have to pay for them? In the case of causing pain or issues to the mother, insurance can cover that. In the case of rape, and incestuous relationships, yes the government should step in. But because horny people can't be smart and use protection, why should the government pay for it??? People use abortions as birth control. Trust me. I know. I've seen girls in the clinic for their 4Th one, when they already have 3 kids. HELLO. USE PROTECTION. I think if you're dumb enough to not use protection, you suffer the consequences. It's called being responsible. If you can't afford a $400 procedure, if in case you do get pregnant, don't have sex. Control yourself. Be responsible for yourself. Buy a $10 box of condoms. Seriously, this shouldn't be rocket science here.
Now, I'm not 100% up to date on the health care policy, and I don't know everything there is about it, and I'm not saying go after the big man, but there are things that need to be fixed, and I would love to trust my government to do the right thing. I am sick of everyone blaming the other party. If its a republican complaining, its Obama's fault, if its a democrat, its Bush's fault. I hate to break it to ya, they don't have ALL the power. Congress has some. But I would love to see our president be a little more bipartisan. I'm sick of every time he makes a speech about something going wrong, it's always the previous guys' fault. When will he set an example for the rest of the politicians to not play the blame game, and try to be bipartisan. When will he step up and be a leader for the entire country and not just the Democrats? I will never vote for him, and I didn't the first time. But I really hope the people who did realize that this man isn't presidential material. He's not the complete idiot that I once thought, hell he was good enough to get enough votes to become president, and I'm sure he's done some good. For the democrats. But I hope that America wakes up and realize just where our country is headed, and they have the balls to stand up and fight for our America, the way our Founding Fathers had for us to be able to make these choices. I pray that the the next president doesn't affiliate with a party, but is truly an independent, and believes in the justice for our people, and faith in our people to have them do the right things for themselves. Who isn't strictly Republican or Democrat, but has views on both sides favorably. I know that's a lot to ask. But a girl can dream. Right???
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
It's the little things in life....
After my ranting yesterday, I realized it's the little things in life that matter. Well I actually knew that a long time ago, but it became more apparent today. I think I had one of the best nights tonight, that didn't involve going out or getting all dressed up. Who knew being sweaty after the gym could lead into such an amazing adventure?
See, my best friend, Monica, and I have these times when we just want to drive, mainly so we can sing loudly in the car, and dance obnoxiously, and try out our accents. We haven't had a car night in a long time, so tonight was definitely over due. Our night started at the gym, where we probably sweat more out of our bodies than a whale shoots water out of his spout, but it was well needed. We then, for some reason unknown to us, drove to a specialty store down near Dana Point/San Clemente area, then drove back home on PCH, and took the scenic route home. It sounds weird but it was a good date. LOL. We call it that, because it really is like we are married, so why not. Car rides have become some of my favorite memories, whether it is stuck on the freeway dancing, center console cartending, backseat bartending, or caraoke, its always fun.
I think that is what I would miss most if I moved to Vegas. Its not the getting dressed up going out to the bars, its the random times when you call up a friend and meet them for lunch. When you're bored at home so you and your roommate go driving just to sing loudly and dance weirdly. I could live with missing out on a few key nights when everyone is going out, but what I would be most jealous of are the friends who can call each other up and just meet for lunch because they are bored, or someone to go shopping with. If I move, its like I'm breaking up with my best friend, as Monica put it tonight. It's not like our friendship would end, but we wouldn't be at each others disposal like we are now. Who else am I going to cry to when someone decides they don't want to date me right as I walk in the door? Who do I yell across the house to when something funny is on the television? Who do I have to go to the grocery store with? It's not like I'm moving with my husband, I'd be going alone. Starting over alone. Part of it is really appealing. Being in a house rent free, working, going to school, starting fresh. But what happens when its midnight, there's nothing good on tv, all my homework is done, and I'm in the mood for the "drive" night??? I don't have anyone to go with. I don't have someone to call up and say go to In n Out with me. Or let's go to the gym.
I have a lot of decisions to make coming up. Stay in Cali or move to Vegas? Pick your Major. (which I have, but its not declared). Get a job. Where do I want to work? I'm just praying that whatever choice I make is the right one for me, and I'm hoping that my friendships don't change if I move. I know its hard for them not to change, but that's what I fear most. What happens when I come home for a weekend? Are my friends going to be too busy to see me? Or is it going to be "we'll try to get together", or "maybe next time for sure".
So if you have any advice on what I should do, just go for the move, or stay, I'd love to hear. I'm probably going to end up posting a pro's and con's list for moving, so we'll have to wait and see. Good night world. I'll see you tomorrow.
See, my best friend, Monica, and I have these times when we just want to drive, mainly so we can sing loudly in the car, and dance obnoxiously, and try out our accents. We haven't had a car night in a long time, so tonight was definitely over due. Our night started at the gym, where we probably sweat more out of our bodies than a whale shoots water out of his spout, but it was well needed. We then, for some reason unknown to us, drove to a specialty store down near Dana Point/San Clemente area, then drove back home on PCH, and took the scenic route home. It sounds weird but it was a good date. LOL. We call it that, because it really is like we are married, so why not. Car rides have become some of my favorite memories, whether it is stuck on the freeway dancing, center console cartending, backseat bartending, or caraoke, its always fun.
I think that is what I would miss most if I moved to Vegas. Its not the getting dressed up going out to the bars, its the random times when you call up a friend and meet them for lunch. When you're bored at home so you and your roommate go driving just to sing loudly and dance weirdly. I could live with missing out on a few key nights when everyone is going out, but what I would be most jealous of are the friends who can call each other up and just meet for lunch because they are bored, or someone to go shopping with. If I move, its like I'm breaking up with my best friend, as Monica put it tonight. It's not like our friendship would end, but we wouldn't be at each others disposal like we are now. Who else am I going to cry to when someone decides they don't want to date me right as I walk in the door? Who do I yell across the house to when something funny is on the television? Who do I have to go to the grocery store with? It's not like I'm moving with my husband, I'd be going alone. Starting over alone. Part of it is really appealing. Being in a house rent free, working, going to school, starting fresh. But what happens when its midnight, there's nothing good on tv, all my homework is done, and I'm in the mood for the "drive" night??? I don't have anyone to go with. I don't have someone to call up and say go to In n Out with me. Or let's go to the gym.
I have a lot of decisions to make coming up. Stay in Cali or move to Vegas? Pick your Major. (which I have, but its not declared). Get a job. Where do I want to work? I'm just praying that whatever choice I make is the right one for me, and I'm hoping that my friendships don't change if I move. I know its hard for them not to change, but that's what I fear most. What happens when I come home for a weekend? Are my friends going to be too busy to see me? Or is it going to be "we'll try to get together", or "maybe next time for sure".
So if you have any advice on what I should do, just go for the move, or stay, I'd love to hear. I'm probably going to end up posting a pro's and con's list for moving, so we'll have to wait and see. Good night world. I'll see you tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
To the men in my life: Past, Present and Future
Ok, so I'm going to come out and say it. Most of you disappoint me. I'm not talking about all the men in my life, my family is excluded, but a majority of you have disappointed me. I know some of you out there are really great guys, and I'm blessed to have you as friends. But some of you other ones out there need a lesson on how to treat a woman. If you even think I'm talking about you, then yes I am. I'm tired of seeing my friends get hurt, or waste their time and energy on guys that just were never taught the right way on how to treat a woman, or who were taught and ignored the lesson. I'm tired of getting hurt or wasting my time on those types of guys too. SO here's a few ground rules for you to go by, follow them if you wish, and if you don't - I'll pray for you.
1) Here's the deal. Its cute when you trash the previous guy before you to us. Its even cuter when you tell us that you could never do what he did. Here's where you screw up. You do it. You may not do it in the same fashion he did, but you do it nonetheless. Case in point, you will see parts of a conversation, and no background information will be given, i.e. how long they were dating for, previous conversations, previous dates/outings/weekends together....
Guy: "Wow, you and your friends have dated some pretty messed up guys. I don't see how, because you guys are all really good girls."
Girl: "I think it's just because we want to believe there is good in everyone. Either that or our radar is off, and we just don't know how to pick them."
Guy: "I could never do half the stuff that was done to you guys." and a few hours later, after a pretty awesome date.....
Guy: "I don't think we should date anymore. I don't want to worry about meeting someone and taking them out to dinner and hurting you. I just can't be committed to you the way I was (a week ago). I know we have an amazing connection, and I don't want to lose that. I just don't want to commit to anyone. I don't want to worry about being with you one night, and then taking someone else out a few nights later."
Girl: "ummm...OK."
Guy: "I mean, you're an awesome girl, and I like spending time with you, and we have an amazing connection, but I never showed emotions growing up, and neither did my family. Plus I just moved out here and want to meet new people, (guy code for meet new girls to hook up with), and I wasn't in a good place when I broke up with my ex....8 months ago."
Girl: "OK. Sure." about an hour later.
Text: Guy: Thanks for a great time tonight! I had a lot of fun. Have a good day tomorrow"
HELLOOOO??? Am I missing something here. A) He gave her like 10 different excuses on why they couldn't date. B) Why text her after he told her he didn't want to be with her to have a good day the next day, and saying that the night was a ton of fun. For him maybe, did it even occur to him that the whole part after the date pretty much ruined her night???
So guys: don't bash on the previous guy until you are a million percent positive you are going to be better than him. It just lumps you into the same category as the others when you pull stuff like this. Oh- and unless the girl is a shrink, the childhood blame it on the parents excuse doesn't really work too well. I mean, I could blame the whole I can't be in a successful relationship thing coming from a divorced family, but I don't. I think its irresponsible to claim things like that, and a void of ownership. Relationships work because people want them to, and it is work. Its not a walk in the park. And if it takes you longer to get over your ex, then the time you guys were together. You're over her, you're just wanting to go out and do whatever and not be committed. Admit it.
2) Don't make plans, then not follow through. Or Talk future and have no intentions of following through. Case in point: Lets say a guy, oh I dunno, drives down to San Diego because you ask him to, at 1 am. It's about an hour and a half drive. So he gets out of bed, drives down just because you asked him to, and then basically acts like prince charming all night. The next day, he tells you, I want to take you on an actual date. You are amazing. I don't know how you're still single. You are gorgeous, smart, funny, fun to be around, etc.... Your thinking to yourself well I ask myself that everyday.... about a week of calls, texts, etc goes by, but no mention of dinner, or anything. Oooook. So one day you just stop texting him and wait for him to text you. Except he doesn't, for over a month.... whatever. Just like the ones before him, no follow through. Guys, you should know this, to throw a football, swing a tennis racket, hit a golf ball, the most important part isn't the strength you put behind it (it plays a part yes) but its the FOLLOW THROUGH. Strength is only good if you know how to follow through with the motion.... the saying actions speak louder than words ring a bell????
3) When a girl says no, she normally means it. Unless, its a guy asking to make it up to you for not texting for a month.... (see above) A girl is not going to say yes make it up to me, when you already failed her once. She's going to tell you too late. But then when you try to be funny, by claiming that you died and got stuck in the "in-between" and you were a ghost, expect a smart ass remark like, ummm ghosts normally haunt, and there was no haunting here.... she's not going to let you by on this one. If you truly wanted to make it up to her, you would do something. Make a gesture, anything. BUT DO SOMETHING. Don't ask for permission. Show up to her show that is her debut performance, and support her, she only supported 2 of your shows, its only right. Sometimes guys, you just need to be the romantic that I know all of you have somewhere deep inside of you, and let it out.
4) Make her Laugh. Simple right? It makes sense. When someone makes you laugh, and you already have some sort of relationship going, laughing is probably one of the easiest ways to get her to like you. If she is constantly laughing and having a good time with you, you're going to be on her mind. You may be nothing like the other guys she's dated, and she may have no idea why she likes you but she does. Go with it. It makes it easier to get to know someone when they are happy and not feeling vulnerable. So it may not be 100% effective, but I can tell you I'd rather be with someone who makes me laugh vs someone who's my type, and completely boring.
5) Chivalry is NOT DEAD. Opening doors, and standing when she excuses herself from the table, extremely sexy. Paying for a first date? Even better. I can tell you, I will not go on a second date with a guy if he lets me pay. There are a few circumstances where I think the girl should pay, if she asked him for instance... but if he asks me- and he lets me pay on a first date it is also a last date. I have a rule, I don't mind paying my way, or even his way, its got to be a give and take. First date, I truly believe a guy should pay. I will offer twice, and if he refuses, he earns major points with me. But if after the first date, you notice that she's always paying, she's waiting for you to step in and say, no- you are not paying tonight. Its my treat.... she's waiting for that. She's just independent, and sometimes forgets to let someone else take care of her. Never a bad thing.
That's my ranting for now. Hopefully you guys who treat girls badly, or think that they can talk their way into someones pants, and have no intentions of following through, get over yourselves. It is not a good quality to have. Just because your horny does not give you the right to go out and toy with a girls heart, just to get some. Its disgusting. So good night. Sweet Dreams!!!
1) Here's the deal. Its cute when you trash the previous guy before you to us. Its even cuter when you tell us that you could never do what he did. Here's where you screw up. You do it. You may not do it in the same fashion he did, but you do it nonetheless. Case in point, you will see parts of a conversation, and no background information will be given, i.e. how long they were dating for, previous conversations, previous dates/outings/weekends together....
Guy: "Wow, you and your friends have dated some pretty messed up guys. I don't see how, because you guys are all really good girls."
Girl: "I think it's just because we want to believe there is good in everyone. Either that or our radar is off, and we just don't know how to pick them."
Guy: "I could never do half the stuff that was done to you guys." and a few hours later, after a pretty awesome date.....
Guy: "I don't think we should date anymore. I don't want to worry about meeting someone and taking them out to dinner and hurting you. I just can't be committed to you the way I was (a week ago). I know we have an amazing connection, and I don't want to lose that. I just don't want to commit to anyone. I don't want to worry about being with you one night, and then taking someone else out a few nights later."
Girl: "ummm...OK."
Guy: "I mean, you're an awesome girl, and I like spending time with you, and we have an amazing connection, but I never showed emotions growing up, and neither did my family. Plus I just moved out here and want to meet new people, (guy code for meet new girls to hook up with), and I wasn't in a good place when I broke up with my ex....8 months ago."
Girl: "OK. Sure." about an hour later.
Text: Guy: Thanks for a great time tonight! I had a lot of fun. Have a good day tomorrow"
HELLOOOO??? Am I missing something here. A) He gave her like 10 different excuses on why they couldn't date. B) Why text her after he told her he didn't want to be with her to have a good day the next day, and saying that the night was a ton of fun. For him maybe, did it even occur to him that the whole part after the date pretty much ruined her night???
So guys: don't bash on the previous guy until you are a million percent positive you are going to be better than him. It just lumps you into the same category as the others when you pull stuff like this. Oh- and unless the girl is a shrink, the childhood blame it on the parents excuse doesn't really work too well. I mean, I could blame the whole I can't be in a successful relationship thing coming from a divorced family, but I don't. I think its irresponsible to claim things like that, and a void of ownership. Relationships work because people want them to, and it is work. Its not a walk in the park. And if it takes you longer to get over your ex, then the time you guys were together. You're over her, you're just wanting to go out and do whatever and not be committed. Admit it.
2) Don't make plans, then not follow through. Or Talk future and have no intentions of following through. Case in point: Lets say a guy, oh I dunno, drives down to San Diego because you ask him to, at 1 am. It's about an hour and a half drive. So he gets out of bed, drives down just because you asked him to, and then basically acts like prince charming all night. The next day, he tells you, I want to take you on an actual date. You are amazing. I don't know how you're still single. You are gorgeous, smart, funny, fun to be around, etc.... Your thinking to yourself well I ask myself that everyday.... about a week of calls, texts, etc goes by, but no mention of dinner, or anything. Oooook. So one day you just stop texting him and wait for him to text you. Except he doesn't, for over a month.... whatever. Just like the ones before him, no follow through. Guys, you should know this, to throw a football, swing a tennis racket, hit a golf ball, the most important part isn't the strength you put behind it (it plays a part yes) but its the FOLLOW THROUGH. Strength is only good if you know how to follow through with the motion.... the saying actions speak louder than words ring a bell????
3) When a girl says no, she normally means it. Unless, its a guy asking to make it up to you for not texting for a month.... (see above) A girl is not going to say yes make it up to me, when you already failed her once. She's going to tell you too late. But then when you try to be funny, by claiming that you died and got stuck in the "in-between" and you were a ghost, expect a smart ass remark like, ummm ghosts normally haunt, and there was no haunting here.... she's not going to let you by on this one. If you truly wanted to make it up to her, you would do something. Make a gesture, anything. BUT DO SOMETHING. Don't ask for permission. Show up to her show that is her debut performance, and support her, she only supported 2 of your shows, its only right. Sometimes guys, you just need to be the romantic that I know all of you have somewhere deep inside of you, and let it out.
4) Make her Laugh. Simple right? It makes sense. When someone makes you laugh, and you already have some sort of relationship going, laughing is probably one of the easiest ways to get her to like you. If she is constantly laughing and having a good time with you, you're going to be on her mind. You may be nothing like the other guys she's dated, and she may have no idea why she likes you but she does. Go with it. It makes it easier to get to know someone when they are happy and not feeling vulnerable. So it may not be 100% effective, but I can tell you I'd rather be with someone who makes me laugh vs someone who's my type, and completely boring.
5) Chivalry is NOT DEAD. Opening doors, and standing when she excuses herself from the table, extremely sexy. Paying for a first date? Even better. I can tell you, I will not go on a second date with a guy if he lets me pay. There are a few circumstances where I think the girl should pay, if she asked him for instance... but if he asks me- and he lets me pay on a first date it is also a last date. I have a rule, I don't mind paying my way, or even his way, its got to be a give and take. First date, I truly believe a guy should pay. I will offer twice, and if he refuses, he earns major points with me. But if after the first date, you notice that she's always paying, she's waiting for you to step in and say, no- you are not paying tonight. Its my treat.... she's waiting for that. She's just independent, and sometimes forgets to let someone else take care of her. Never a bad thing.
That's my ranting for now. Hopefully you guys who treat girls badly, or think that they can talk their way into someones pants, and have no intentions of following through, get over yourselves. It is not a good quality to have. Just because your horny does not give you the right to go out and toy with a girls heart, just to get some. Its disgusting. So good night. Sweet Dreams!!!
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