Ok, so I'm going to come out and say it. Most of you disappoint me. I'm not talking about all the men in my life, my family is excluded, but a majority of you have disappointed me. I know some of you out there are really great guys, and I'm blessed to have you as friends. But some of you other ones out there need a lesson on how to treat a woman. If you even think I'm talking about you, then yes I am. I'm tired of seeing my friends get hurt, or waste their time and energy on guys that just were never taught the right way on how to treat a woman, or who were taught and ignored the lesson. I'm tired of getting hurt or wasting my time on those types of guys too. SO here's a few ground rules for you to go by, follow them if you wish, and if you don't - I'll pray for you.
1) Here's the deal. Its cute when you trash the previous guy before you to us. Its even cuter when you tell us that you could never do what he did. Here's where you screw up. You do it. You may not do it in the same fashion he did, but you do it nonetheless. Case in point, you will see parts of a conversation, and no background information will be given, i.e. how long they were dating for, previous conversations, previous dates/outings/weekends together....
Guy: "Wow, you and your friends have dated some pretty messed up guys. I don't see how, because you guys are all really good girls."
Girl: "I think it's just because we want to believe there is good in everyone. Either that or our radar is off, and we just don't know how to pick them."
Guy: "I could never do half the stuff that was done to you guys." and a few hours later, after a pretty awesome date.....
Guy: "I don't think we should date anymore. I don't want to worry about meeting someone and taking them out to dinner and hurting you. I just can't be committed to you the way I was (a week ago). I know we have an amazing connection, and I don't want to lose that. I just don't want to commit to anyone. I don't want to worry about being with you one night, and then taking someone else out a few nights later."
Girl: "ummm...OK."
Guy: "I mean, you're an awesome girl, and I like spending time with you, and we have an amazing connection, but I never showed emotions growing up, and neither did my family. Plus I just moved out here and want to meet new people, (guy code for meet new girls to hook up with), and I wasn't in a good place when I broke up with my ex....8 months ago."
Girl: "OK. Sure." about an hour later.
Text: Guy: Thanks for a great time tonight! I had a lot of fun. Have a good day tomorrow"
HELLOOOO??? Am I missing something here. A) He gave her like 10 different excuses on why they couldn't date. B) Why text her after he told her he didn't want to be with her to have a good day the next day, and saying that the night was a ton of fun. For him maybe, did it even occur to him that the whole part after the date pretty much ruined her night???
So guys: don't bash on the previous guy until you are a million percent positive you are going to be better than him. It just lumps you into the same category as the others when you pull stuff like this. Oh- and unless the girl is a shrink, the childhood blame it on the parents excuse doesn't really work too well. I mean, I could blame the whole I can't be in a successful relationship thing coming from a divorced family, but I don't. I think its irresponsible to claim things like that, and a void of ownership. Relationships work because people want them to, and it is work. Its not a walk in the park. And if it takes you longer to get over your ex, then the time you guys were together. You're over her, you're just wanting to go out and do whatever and not be committed. Admit it.
2) Don't make plans, then not follow through. Or Talk future and have no intentions of following through. Case in point: Lets say a guy, oh I dunno, drives down to San Diego because you ask him to, at 1 am. It's about an hour and a half drive. So he gets out of bed, drives down just because you asked him to, and then basically acts like prince charming all night. The next day, he tells you, I want to take you on an actual date. You are amazing. I don't know how you're still single. You are gorgeous, smart, funny, fun to be around, etc.... Your thinking to yourself well I ask myself that everyday.... about a week of calls, texts, etc goes by, but no mention of dinner, or anything. Oooook. So one day you just stop texting him and wait for him to text you. Except he doesn't, for over a month.... whatever. Just like the ones before him, no follow through. Guys, you should know this, to throw a football, swing a tennis racket, hit a golf ball, the most important part isn't the strength you put behind it (it plays a part yes) but its the FOLLOW THROUGH. Strength is only good if you know how to follow through with the motion.... the saying actions speak louder than words ring a bell????
3) When a girl says no, she normally means it. Unless, its a guy asking to make it up to you for not texting for a month.... (see above) A girl is not going to say yes make it up to me, when you already failed her once. She's going to tell you too late. But then when you try to be funny, by claiming that you died and got stuck in the "in-between" and you were a ghost, expect a smart ass remark like, ummm ghosts normally haunt, and there was no haunting here.... she's not going to let you by on this one. If you truly wanted to make it up to her, you would do something. Make a gesture, anything. BUT DO SOMETHING. Don't ask for permission. Show up to her show that is her debut performance, and support her, she only supported 2 of your shows, its only right. Sometimes guys, you just need to be the romantic that I know all of you have somewhere deep inside of you, and let it out.
4) Make her Laugh. Simple right? It makes sense. When someone makes you laugh, and you already have some sort of relationship going, laughing is probably one of the easiest ways to get her to like you. If she is constantly laughing and having a good time with you, you're going to be on her mind. You may be nothing like the other guys she's dated, and she may have no idea why she likes you but she does. Go with it. It makes it easier to get to know someone when they are happy and not feeling vulnerable. So it may not be 100% effective, but I can tell you I'd rather be with someone who makes me laugh vs someone who's my type, and completely boring.
5) Chivalry is NOT DEAD. Opening doors, and standing when she excuses herself from the table, extremely sexy. Paying for a first date? Even better. I can tell you, I will not go on a second date with a guy if he lets me pay. There are a few circumstances where I think the girl should pay, if she asked him for instance... but if he asks me- and he lets me pay on a first date it is also a last date. I have a rule, I don't mind paying my way, or even his way, its got to be a give and take. First date, I truly believe a guy should pay. I will offer twice, and if he refuses, he earns major points with me. But if after the first date, you notice that she's always paying, she's waiting for you to step in and say, no- you are not paying tonight. Its my treat.... she's waiting for that. She's just independent, and sometimes forgets to let someone else take care of her. Never a bad thing.
That's my ranting for now. Hopefully you guys who treat girls badly, or think that they can talk their way into someones pants, and have no intentions of following through, get over yourselves. It is not a good quality to have. Just because your horny does not give you the right to go out and toy with a girls heart, just to get some. Its disgusting. So good night. Sweet Dreams!!!
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