A means to an end?

So, I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately, and my past ones and new ones or prospects or whatsoever. I have this incessant need to keep in contact with an ex. Not any ex, just one. Their is a part of me that thinks its just because I haven't really moved on, and found someone that I actually care about, and have them care equally about me and actually be in a committed relationship. But then there's the hopeless romantic in me that says maybe it's because we're meant to be and we have this pull to each other.

See I always watch the chick flicks and always believe that true love can withstand everyone and everything thrown in it's path. Now mind you, these are scripts that are written for girls just like me, and made to give these girls hope that all men will realize what they lost and just come running back or fly across the country to prove their love, but ya, that doesn't happen in real life.

Now, I would love to say its the first reason, on why I can't get him out of my head, and why I feel drawn to him, but part of me can't say that. I know I've had options, and opportunities to meet new people, to try things out, and date. I have met some decent guys, and I've met some jerks. But throughout them all he's still there. Even if we don't talk, he's there in my head. We've been broken up for 2 years, and he's still the one I vision life with. But it's not like I'm the only one who's drawn, he is too. We both have this need to talk and communicate with each other, and have this pull to each other. So I'm almost tempted to say it is the second reason, but whatever happens will happen. If its meant to be it will be.

Here's the other issue in the mix- he's half way across the country. So for us to even try to make it work, one of us has to move. I would, in a second. But if it were only that simple. UGH. Why do relationships have to be so complicated? I know the smart thing to do is simply cut ties with him and just see what happens, but for me that doesn't seem like a logical conclusion. Who knows, I guess I'll just have to see what happens, and hope that one day he wakes up and decides to take a plane to wherever I am and become my happily ever after. LOL. Right, and then I wake up.

Faith, Hope and Love - Congrats Bri and Ben Harger!!!

Today was a day that renewed my faith in love. Weddings tend to do that to me. One of my friends got married today, and her wedding was gorgeous. Not just the wedding but everything about her day renewed my faith in true love, and actually made my decision of exactly what I want to do with my life. I kinda knew already, but I am definite on this choice.

My friend Brianna married the love of her life Ben today at a gorgeous wedding in Huntington Beach. I've know Brianna for around 9 years now, and we've been through a few relationships together. I met her when my ex boyfriend and her ex boyfriend played soccer together, and although the relationships with those guys didn't last, our friendship did. Seeing her get married today made me realize that true love can exist, and does. The way Ben looks at her melts my heart for her, and she truly loves him just as much.

Now weddings kinda suck if you're single. Which my roommate (who was my +1) and I are. It makes you want that love even more, and it gets your thoughts on the wedding you want and all that stuff. Anyway, one of the best parts of weddings is just at the time when the groom sees his bride for the first time in her dress walking down the aisle. Now, everyone looks at the groom to see his face, but its just as glorious to look at the bride when she sees him for the first time. You see all the love they have for each other, and your heart is overwhelmed with joy for them. But anywho, I walked away from the wedding feeling hopeful that I would find my prince charming one day, and I would get to have my wedding of my dreams, which mind you I've planned it since I was about 10 years old, and although it has changed probably around a thousand times, the only thing that has remained the same is that I want my future husband to look at me with awe when he sees me walking down the aisle for the first time, and I know I want to celebrate my love with all my friends and family. I want my friends to be there dancing with me, and celebrating with me, and I want my parents and family to be there happy for me knowing that I'm going to be with the man I love for the rest of my life. :)

So enough with the mushy stuff, this wedding, well all weddings really, made me want to pursue my career even further. I've already registered for an event planning course, and I already have ALL these ideas in my head, and I can't wait to be able to get started on it!!!! SOOOO if anyone knows someone who wants help with planning a wedding or an event, give me about 3 months, and I'll be good to go, I'll even do it pro bono for a while :) That's all!!!

SO, Congratulations to Ben and Brianna Harger, you two are going to live a wonderful life together, and I'm soo happy for the both of you to have found your soul mate, and it couldn't have been a more beautiful wedding!!!