So there's this myth that everyone tells at one point in their life. It's "let's be friends". Now, there are times when its really not a lie. I truly believe that some people are better off friends than lovers, but other times I think people say it because they are trying to hide what they really want to say. Like, you're hot, and we have a ton of fun, and we don't get on each others nerves, but I'm waiting for someone better.... or whatever the case may be. Seriously, its not like I'm asking for marriage, I'm not even asking for a relationship. I want to be able to hang out and have fun, and not have to worry about boundaries or not being too flirty, or if I get tipsy, not having to worry about wanting to kiss him or whatever, without feeling like I'm pushing the boundaries.
It's not like guys just use that phrase. Girls are completely capable of it too. I've done it, I've used it. I have told guys that have been interested that I just wanted to be friends. I feel like its the easiest way to let them down. I remember using it on a guy, the same time he was asking me to be his girlfriend. I feel horrible about it, but I just couldn't see myself being in a relationship with him. I think thats the reason the line is used. It's not like you don't want to hurt them, its that you just don't want them. You still want them in your life, you still truly want to be friends, but you just don't want them in the way they want you.
It sucks when the line is used on you. Its kind of like you're good enough to be my friend, but not good enough to be more. Or I'm attracted to you, and have to set boundaries because I know I won't be able to stop myself if there aren't boundaries. If there is that kind of attraction it should be sort of a sign right??? If there's a pull to each other its kind of like duh. It's just a phase I'm hoping. I'm just over it. I can be friends, I can be the best friend anyone can have :) That's all I guess. Good night.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
My Grown Up Christmas List
So... I just had to email my parents my Christmas list. Now, its not like I asked for a lot of stuff, but enough. It'll keep my parents busy :) lol. But then I started to want to have a list of other things I'd like for Christmas. Not tangible items, well kind of, but just things I can't ask for. Almost like wishes, and goals. So, I'm gonna name them with the deadline as Christmas, well the New Year. (Besides world peace, safety for our soldiers, etc)
- Volunteer. At least 40 hours.
- Finish the first section of my course.
- Host a dinner party. A real one.
- An organized closet.
- I want a movie night. That involves renting a movie, eating ice cream, and cuddling.
- I want to finish over 50% of my Thomas Kinkade artwork.
- Give everyone a personalized gift this holiday season
- Perfect my mashed potatoes, and make the perfect dessert
- Try something new
- I want to go to a Packer game. I have to go to a Packer game!
- Go to a Ducks or a Kings game and a Laker game.
- Finish the 10 books I've started reading.
- Become Betty Crocker this season, and make cookies, brownies, peppermint bark, pies, cakes, etc at least once a week. And give it away.
- I want to fit in my huge collection of jeans again.... meaning I need to work out.
- I want a phone call from someone. That's all. Just a phone call. And I want it to be one that says everything is ok.
OK I think thats all for now. I'll edit more if I think of more :)
- Volunteer. At least 40 hours.
- Finish the first section of my course.
- Host a dinner party. A real one.
- An organized closet.
- I want a movie night. That involves renting a movie, eating ice cream, and cuddling.
- I want to finish over 50% of my Thomas Kinkade artwork.
- Give everyone a personalized gift this holiday season
- Perfect my mashed potatoes, and make the perfect dessert
- Try something new
- I want to go to a Packer game. I have to go to a Packer game!
- Go to a Ducks or a Kings game and a Laker game.
- Finish the 10 books I've started reading.
- Become Betty Crocker this season, and make cookies, brownies, peppermint bark, pies, cakes, etc at least once a week. And give it away.
- I want to fit in my huge collection of jeans again.... meaning I need to work out.
- I want a phone call from someone. That's all. Just a phone call. And I want it to be one that says everything is ok.
OK I think thats all for now. I'll edit more if I think of more :)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
No sleep.
I can't sleep, so why not blog? I've been reflecting a lot on the past year in my life, and honestly, I never thought it would be what it is today. A year ago, I was in a career that I thought I'd never leave, doing a job that stressed me out, but I absolutely loved. I was in love with the man I thought I'd spend forever with, and although it wasn't perfect, we at least thought it was going somewhere. I wouldn't have changed my life for anything. Now, I'm in a new career, that I actually truly love. I'm not stressed, I'm not looking over my shoulder for the big mean manager to criticize or change their mind on what they want to focus on, and it's a breath of fresh air. Now the whole relationship thing- I would change, but I'm ok being single. The guy I loved, honestly in retrospect, was probably the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. Its not just the break up, but it was the way we did it. It wasn't clean, it was messy, it was back and forth and it was never completely done. Until about a week or so ago. It's the hardest thing to not text or call him, because he was the one person I always went to. But now its not him. He's not there. It's hard knowing that you're alone. Yes I have my friends, but its not the solid support of someone who loves you and wants to be there on your bad days, to rub your back and hold you while you sleep. Ok, so I'm off of that subject.
This year has been a year of changes. New job, new perspective on life, new friends, new everything practically. I've done a lot of firsts, and have made a lot of mistakes, but have also had an amazing first 10 months of the year. That's not to say I have loved every minute of it. I want a few weekends that happened to unhappen, a few nights to just disappear altogether, but its those mistakes that made my new outlook on life. I'm stronger than I thought I could be, and I know that what I've been through and dealt with in this past year, and the past 10 years, I have built strong walls that only let people in so far. No one is in all the way. No one gets my full trust, my heart, none of it. It's sad to say, because I am the hopeless romantic that wants to believe in soulmates, that there is a prince charming for every princess (because we all know I am a princess) I am the girl that believes in happy endings, the one that believes the girl always gets to be the one exception to the rule. I want to be someone's exception.... (name the movie)
Ok. That's all for now. I'm going to try to sleep. Good night world.
This year has been a year of changes. New job, new perspective on life, new friends, new everything practically. I've done a lot of firsts, and have made a lot of mistakes, but have also had an amazing first 10 months of the year. That's not to say I have loved every minute of it. I want a few weekends that happened to unhappen, a few nights to just disappear altogether, but its those mistakes that made my new outlook on life. I'm stronger than I thought I could be, and I know that what I've been through and dealt with in this past year, and the past 10 years, I have built strong walls that only let people in so far. No one is in all the way. No one gets my full trust, my heart, none of it. It's sad to say, because I am the hopeless romantic that wants to believe in soulmates, that there is a prince charming for every princess (because we all know I am a princess) I am the girl that believes in happy endings, the one that believes the girl always gets to be the one exception to the rule. I want to be someone's exception.... (name the movie)
Ok. That's all for now. I'm going to try to sleep. Good night world.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I Haven't Forgot
It's been about a month since I've posted a blog on here, and I figured I should update it. Its just that now, there's nothing to rant about :) That should be a good thing. So I guess I'll just update: I got a job (YAY!!!!) I didn't move to Vegas, I'm still single (Which is good right?) Halloween starts the beginning of my favorite season ever! Football, Shopping and Holiday season- AKA Winter!!!! Halloween never seems to fail, decorating starts about the first of October, it's a rule, I can't decorate for the holiday if the holiday is not in the current month. Decorating normally takes a few weeks to finish it all up, but it looks amazing once it's done. We go ALL OUT for the holidays. I'm talking at least $300 a year on new decorations... just for Halloween. Then it starts Thanksgiving decorating, which isn't as much, mainly a table decoration change, and a few towel changes. Then its the whopper of them all Christmas.
See I like decorating and getting in the spirit, and what makes it worse, is that I get obsessed, and by obsessed, it means everything that I see that resembles a holiday decoration thats cute, I buy. Even if I have no where to put it. So, I have totes and totes of decorations. I'm afraid that once I move out with my future husband, he will walk away bc he won't be able to handle all the decorations and the obsessions lol. OH well, if he loves me he loves me for all of me right? SO once I'm done with all the halloween decorations, I will post pictures of my 900 sq ft apartment, and show you just how much stuff I cram in here :) Have a Happy Halloween!!
See I like decorating and getting in the spirit, and what makes it worse, is that I get obsessed, and by obsessed, it means everything that I see that resembles a holiday decoration thats cute, I buy. Even if I have no where to put it. So, I have totes and totes of decorations. I'm afraid that once I move out with my future husband, he will walk away bc he won't be able to handle all the decorations and the obsessions lol. OH well, if he loves me he loves me for all of me right? SO once I'm done with all the halloween decorations, I will post pictures of my 900 sq ft apartment, and show you just how much stuff I cram in here :) Have a Happy Halloween!!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Trust
It's been a while since I've made a post so here's a new one. So I've tried to start dating someone, and it's difficult, since he's leaving in 3 weeks to move across the country. Of course leave it to me to find a guy that is emotionally unavailable to commit to and that is in no way shape or form a good decision for me to make. With all that has been going on lately, as far as my feelings, emotions not just for him, but in general and where I feel my life should be going, I've gotten on this kick to where I kind of just want to be alone. Not alone in the sense of not having someone to share moments with, but alone in the not in the mood to converse and have to hold conversation with people. That sounds bad but I've been in the mood to just want to sit at home and cuddle and to be around someone and not have to talk. But as far as conversations go and trying to make pleasantries, I'm just not into it.
Now is it because of my mood or is it because I don't trust a lot of people. Mainly anyone outside of my family can I truly trust to be there no matter what. I have friends, just not ones I trust with a lot. I have few (and by few, I can name them on one hand and still have fingers leftover) that I trust enough to confide in, but even then, I don't trust them fully. Every "best friend" I've had has screwed me over in one way or the other. EVERY ONE OF THEM. There is not one of them that I can honestly say I trust with every thing. I don't even like bringing the guys I date around them that much, because believe it or not, some of my best friends have been known to flirt with, or even run off with them. I seriously believe I have a huge issue with trust. It's sad, because I'm willing to trust people that can have more damage on me than others, but the ones I'm close with I should trust more but I don't. The ones I should trust are the ones I'm most leery about. I think its because Ive been burned by so many friends in the past that I know its going to happen again. Its funny, because as much as I know they wouldn't do it to their other friends, but or some reason I think it would happen to me. Because it has in the past. The things they would never do to their other friends, they would do to me. So I don't trust them with everything, and frankly it should bother me more than it does. But since I'm so used to it, it doesn't. I'd trust a guy more than a friend because all they have the real ability to do is break my heart. Which I know how to get over, vs having a friend betray me. I think its because the things I've had done to me, I could never do to a friend. I can't even speak to my friends ex's really because I feel like I'm betraying them. Anywho... thats my ranting for today. Sorry if it's depressing, its true.
Now is it because of my mood or is it because I don't trust a lot of people. Mainly anyone outside of my family can I truly trust to be there no matter what. I have friends, just not ones I trust with a lot. I have few (and by few, I can name them on one hand and still have fingers leftover) that I trust enough to confide in, but even then, I don't trust them fully. Every "best friend" I've had has screwed me over in one way or the other. EVERY ONE OF THEM. There is not one of them that I can honestly say I trust with every thing. I don't even like bringing the guys I date around them that much, because believe it or not, some of my best friends have been known to flirt with, or even run off with them. I seriously believe I have a huge issue with trust. It's sad, because I'm willing to trust people that can have more damage on me than others, but the ones I'm close with I should trust more but I don't. The ones I should trust are the ones I'm most leery about. I think its because Ive been burned by so many friends in the past that I know its going to happen again. Its funny, because as much as I know they wouldn't do it to their other friends, but or some reason I think it would happen to me. Because it has in the past. The things they would never do to their other friends, they would do to me. So I don't trust them with everything, and frankly it should bother me more than it does. But since I'm so used to it, it doesn't. I'd trust a guy more than a friend because all they have the real ability to do is break my heart. Which I know how to get over, vs having a friend betray me. I think its because the things I've had done to me, I could never do to a friend. I can't even speak to my friends ex's really because I feel like I'm betraying them. Anywho... thats my ranting for today. Sorry if it's depressing, its true.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
A means to an end?
So, I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately, and my past ones and new ones or prospects or whatsoever. I have this incessant need to keep in contact with an ex. Not any ex, just one. Their is a part of me that thinks its just because I haven't really moved on, and found someone that I actually care about, and have them care equally about me and actually be in a committed relationship. But then there's the hopeless romantic in me that says maybe it's because we're meant to be and we have this pull to each other.
See I always watch the chick flicks and always believe that true love can withstand everyone and everything thrown in it's path. Now mind you, these are scripts that are written for girls just like me, and made to give these girls hope that all men will realize what they lost and just come running back or fly across the country to prove their love, but ya, that doesn't happen in real life.
Now, I would love to say its the first reason, on why I can't get him out of my head, and why I feel drawn to him, but part of me can't say that. I know I've had options, and opportunities to meet new people, to try things out, and date. I have met some decent guys, and I've met some jerks. But throughout them all he's still there. Even if we don't talk, he's there in my head. We've been broken up for 2 years, and he's still the one I vision life with. But it's not like I'm the only one who's drawn, he is too. We both have this need to talk and communicate with each other, and have this pull to each other. So I'm almost tempted to say it is the second reason, but whatever happens will happen. If its meant to be it will be.
Here's the other issue in the mix- he's half way across the country. So for us to even try to make it work, one of us has to move. I would, in a second. But if it were only that simple. UGH. Why do relationships have to be so complicated? I know the smart thing to do is simply cut ties with him and just see what happens, but for me that doesn't seem like a logical conclusion. Who knows, I guess I'll just have to see what happens, and hope that one day he wakes up and decides to take a plane to wherever I am and become my happily ever after. LOL. Right, and then I wake up.
See I always watch the chick flicks and always believe that true love can withstand everyone and everything thrown in it's path. Now mind you, these are scripts that are written for girls just like me, and made to give these girls hope that all men will realize what they lost and just come running back or fly across the country to prove their love, but ya, that doesn't happen in real life.
Now, I would love to say its the first reason, on why I can't get him out of my head, and why I feel drawn to him, but part of me can't say that. I know I've had options, and opportunities to meet new people, to try things out, and date. I have met some decent guys, and I've met some jerks. But throughout them all he's still there. Even if we don't talk, he's there in my head. We've been broken up for 2 years, and he's still the one I vision life with. But it's not like I'm the only one who's drawn, he is too. We both have this need to talk and communicate with each other, and have this pull to each other. So I'm almost tempted to say it is the second reason, but whatever happens will happen. If its meant to be it will be.
Here's the other issue in the mix- he's half way across the country. So for us to even try to make it work, one of us has to move. I would, in a second. But if it were only that simple. UGH. Why do relationships have to be so complicated? I know the smart thing to do is simply cut ties with him and just see what happens, but for me that doesn't seem like a logical conclusion. Who knows, I guess I'll just have to see what happens, and hope that one day he wakes up and decides to take a plane to wherever I am and become my happily ever after. LOL. Right, and then I wake up.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Faith, Hope and Love - Congrats Bri and Ben Harger!!!
Today was a day that renewed my faith in love. Weddings tend to do that to me. One of my friends got married today, and her wedding was gorgeous. Not just the wedding but everything about her day renewed my faith in true love, and actually made my decision of exactly what I want to do with my life. I kinda knew already, but I am definite on this choice.
My friend Brianna married the love of her life Ben today at a gorgeous wedding in Huntington Beach. I've know Brianna for around 9 years now, and we've been through a few relationships together. I met her when my ex boyfriend and her ex boyfriend played soccer together, and although the relationships with those guys didn't last, our friendship did. Seeing her get married today made me realize that true love can exist, and does. The way Ben looks at her melts my heart for her, and she truly loves him just as much.
Now weddings kinda suck if you're single. Which my roommate (who was my +1) and I are. It makes you want that love even more, and it gets your thoughts on the wedding you want and all that stuff. Anyway, one of the best parts of weddings is just at the time when the groom sees his bride for the first time in her dress walking down the aisle. Now, everyone looks at the groom to see his face, but its just as glorious to look at the bride when she sees him for the first time. You see all the love they have for each other, and your heart is overwhelmed with joy for them. But anywho, I walked away from the wedding feeling hopeful that I would find my prince charming one day, and I would get to have my wedding of my dreams, which mind you I've planned it since I was about 10 years old, and although it has changed probably around a thousand times, the only thing that has remained the same is that I want my future husband to look at me with awe when he sees me walking down the aisle for the first time, and I know I want to celebrate my love with all my friends and family. I want my friends to be there dancing with me, and celebrating with me, and I want my parents and family to be there happy for me knowing that I'm going to be with the man I love for the rest of my life. :)
So enough with the mushy stuff, this wedding, well all weddings really, made me want to pursue my career even further. I've already registered for an event planning course, and I already have ALL these ideas in my head, and I can't wait to be able to get started on it!!!! SOOOO if anyone knows someone who wants help with planning a wedding or an event, give me about 3 months, and I'll be good to go, I'll even do it pro bono for a while :) That's all!!!
SO, Congratulations to Ben and Brianna Harger, you two are going to live a wonderful life together, and I'm soo happy for the both of you to have found your soul mate, and it couldn't have been a more beautiful wedding!!!
My friend Brianna married the love of her life Ben today at a gorgeous wedding in Huntington Beach. I've know Brianna for around 9 years now, and we've been through a few relationships together. I met her when my ex boyfriend and her ex boyfriend played soccer together, and although the relationships with those guys didn't last, our friendship did. Seeing her get married today made me realize that true love can exist, and does. The way Ben looks at her melts my heart for her, and she truly loves him just as much.
Now weddings kinda suck if you're single. Which my roommate (who was my +1) and I are. It makes you want that love even more, and it gets your thoughts on the wedding you want and all that stuff. Anyway, one of the best parts of weddings is just at the time when the groom sees his bride for the first time in her dress walking down the aisle. Now, everyone looks at the groom to see his face, but its just as glorious to look at the bride when she sees him for the first time. You see all the love they have for each other, and your heart is overwhelmed with joy for them. But anywho, I walked away from the wedding feeling hopeful that I would find my prince charming one day, and I would get to have my wedding of my dreams, which mind you I've planned it since I was about 10 years old, and although it has changed probably around a thousand times, the only thing that has remained the same is that I want my future husband to look at me with awe when he sees me walking down the aisle for the first time, and I know I want to celebrate my love with all my friends and family. I want my friends to be there dancing with me, and celebrating with me, and I want my parents and family to be there happy for me knowing that I'm going to be with the man I love for the rest of my life. :)
So enough with the mushy stuff, this wedding, well all weddings really, made me want to pursue my career even further. I've already registered for an event planning course, and I already have ALL these ideas in my head, and I can't wait to be able to get started on it!!!! SOOOO if anyone knows someone who wants help with planning a wedding or an event, give me about 3 months, and I'll be good to go, I'll even do it pro bono for a while :) That's all!!!
SO, Congratulations to Ben and Brianna Harger, you two are going to live a wonderful life together, and I'm soo happy for the both of you to have found your soul mate, and it couldn't have been a more beautiful wedding!!!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Health Care Anyone???
Well, I just got home today from my fabulous, relaxing vacation. It was a family vacation, and I split it up between my mom and dad. It feels really good to be my age, and still enjoying my family vacations. I remember there were a few years where just the thought of a family vacation would make me turn the other way. Don't get me wrong, I love love love my family, and I love seeing my extended family, but the idea of taking off work for camping, or taking off work to go somewhere with my then serious boyfriend, or my friends to the lake for a week, the latter usually won. While on vacation, there were some pretty serious conversations going on.
For those of you who know me well, you know that politics is a passion of mine. I won't hide my conservatism at all, but what a lot of people may not realize, is there are a lot of things I'm liberal on too. This very topic was brought up, and if you know my mom, she can get pretty heated about it. That's where my passion comes from. My mom is also extremely conservative, more so than me. We were discussing the future of our nation, and where we see it going. One of my cousins is a teacher, and education is huge for her, obviously. So is health insurance. (see where I'm going with this???)
My mom is completely against a universal health care system, and for the most part, so am I. What scares me most about it, is that once the government starts paying for our health care, it can start getting to the point to where they can tell us how to live. I think that everyone in this country (that is here legally- meaning a Green Card, or Visa) should be eligible to receive some sort of health care. I think that it is the governments job to ensure that those who are not offered health care through their work, have some sort of affordable option for health care. Does it need to be mandated? No. Should I have to be required to show proof of my insurance every year when I file taxes? No. I should be given the opportunity to elect to take it, and hopefully my decision is a wise one, and I choose to get the insurance. Now, obviously, some people are going to assume that it won't happen to me, I'll just make sure I'm healthy. So offer them a solution, if you have to go to the ER or DR for something and you don't have it, if its urgent, give them like a 6 month period of standard care, and require that they then get insurance. IF they fail to follow through with their payments, then do some sort of penalty, tied to their employer. If they are unemployed, I think that free standard health care is sometimes necessary. COBRA is expensive. I'm a healthy, young female and my insurance is $300 a month on COBRA. RIDICULOUS. But if they are unemployed on their own will, and refuse COBRA, their own problem. Where is the personal accountability for people??? Can't our government trust us enough to do the right thing? I'm not saying that no one should get free health insurance, I think that if you truly can't afford it, then yes the government should help you out, but I don't think that I want the government telling me what I can and can't do for my diet. By 2014, each individual person will have to have their BMI recorded to their health care provider. Which means, if my BMI is too high, the government then is allowed to tell me what I can and can't eat, and put me on a diet. SORRY NO. I understand the obesity problem, but since when is it my fault that other people are obese? That may sound super insensitive, but because a large group of people can't choose to eat healthy, and not eat at Mc Donald's everyday, I have to suffer? Because the government cut funding to our schools, which in turn cut funding for PE classes and after school sports, I have to suffer? Why is it the government's responsibility to make sure we are healthy? Aren't we responsible for ourselves? Laws are in place to not hurt each other, and to be safe, so yes we need some guidance. But this kind of control is too much.
Insurance is expensive because the cost of the procedures. And the equipment. And the malpractice lawsuits. And the salaries of the Drs. And the cost of research. So here's an example of why its so high: I had a surgery about 4 months ago, that fixed a deviated septum (I had less than 25% airflow through my nose) and my tonsils removed. I paid a total of $3500 for this surgery (my insurance covered 90%- with a max payment from me being $2500). I received a bill from my doctor, for approx. $8,000, showing me what my insurance was expected to pay, and then the remainder to me. Well, I wanted to make sure that I didn't overpay, because we all know doctors won't give refunds, so I waited for my insurance quote. I got the insurance quote, and my insurance was charged over $27,000. For the hospital facilities, anesthesia,etc... now mind you, over $15,000 of that was because I had to stay overnight. Because of a doctors mistake. I aspirated during surgery, because he had messed up and was careless and had somehow gotten blood in my air tube down my throat, and into my lungs. It was supposed to be an outpatient surgery. I wasn't supposed to stay overnight. Meaning this $15,000 charged to my insurance, in which I had to pay $1500 towards, was HIS mistake. So why is it, that even though the Doctor screwed up, I have to pay? I think this is partly the reason why insurance is so high. If a doctor screws up, or complications occur because of that mistake, that the doctor should be charged. He should have to pay for it. I shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes. If doctors had to pay for their mistakes, I can guarantee that less mistakes would be made, because they would be more careful and extra cautious.
Also, this Obamacare, will now pay for abortions. I'm sorry, I am not against abortions. Sometimes its better than having a child. But why does the government have to pay for them? In the case of causing pain or issues to the mother, insurance can cover that. In the case of rape, and incestuous relationships, yes the government should step in. But because horny people can't be smart and use protection, why should the government pay for it??? People use abortions as birth control. Trust me. I know. I've seen girls in the clinic for their 4Th one, when they already have 3 kids. HELLO. USE PROTECTION. I think if you're dumb enough to not use protection, you suffer the consequences. It's called being responsible. If you can't afford a $400 procedure, if in case you do get pregnant, don't have sex. Control yourself. Be responsible for yourself. Buy a $10 box of condoms. Seriously, this shouldn't be rocket science here.
Now, I'm not 100% up to date on the health care policy, and I don't know everything there is about it, and I'm not saying go after the big man, but there are things that need to be fixed, and I would love to trust my government to do the right thing. I am sick of everyone blaming the other party. If its a republican complaining, its Obama's fault, if its a democrat, its Bush's fault. I hate to break it to ya, they don't have ALL the power. Congress has some. But I would love to see our president be a little more bipartisan. I'm sick of every time he makes a speech about something going wrong, it's always the previous guys' fault. When will he set an example for the rest of the politicians to not play the blame game, and try to be bipartisan. When will he step up and be a leader for the entire country and not just the Democrats? I will never vote for him, and I didn't the first time. But I really hope the people who did realize that this man isn't presidential material. He's not the complete idiot that I once thought, hell he was good enough to get enough votes to become president, and I'm sure he's done some good. For the democrats. But I hope that America wakes up and realize just where our country is headed, and they have the balls to stand up and fight for our America, the way our Founding Fathers had for us to be able to make these choices. I pray that the the next president doesn't affiliate with a party, but is truly an independent, and believes in the justice for our people, and faith in our people to have them do the right things for themselves. Who isn't strictly Republican or Democrat, but has views on both sides favorably. I know that's a lot to ask. But a girl can dream. Right???
For those of you who know me well, you know that politics is a passion of mine. I won't hide my conservatism at all, but what a lot of people may not realize, is there are a lot of things I'm liberal on too. This very topic was brought up, and if you know my mom, she can get pretty heated about it. That's where my passion comes from. My mom is also extremely conservative, more so than me. We were discussing the future of our nation, and where we see it going. One of my cousins is a teacher, and education is huge for her, obviously. So is health insurance. (see where I'm going with this???)
My mom is completely against a universal health care system, and for the most part, so am I. What scares me most about it, is that once the government starts paying for our health care, it can start getting to the point to where they can tell us how to live. I think that everyone in this country (that is here legally- meaning a Green Card, or Visa) should be eligible to receive some sort of health care. I think that it is the governments job to ensure that those who are not offered health care through their work, have some sort of affordable option for health care. Does it need to be mandated? No. Should I have to be required to show proof of my insurance every year when I file taxes? No. I should be given the opportunity to elect to take it, and hopefully my decision is a wise one, and I choose to get the insurance. Now, obviously, some people are going to assume that it won't happen to me, I'll just make sure I'm healthy. So offer them a solution, if you have to go to the ER or DR for something and you don't have it, if its urgent, give them like a 6 month period of standard care, and require that they then get insurance. IF they fail to follow through with their payments, then do some sort of penalty, tied to their employer. If they are unemployed, I think that free standard health care is sometimes necessary. COBRA is expensive. I'm a healthy, young female and my insurance is $300 a month on COBRA. RIDICULOUS. But if they are unemployed on their own will, and refuse COBRA, their own problem. Where is the personal accountability for people??? Can't our government trust us enough to do the right thing? I'm not saying that no one should get free health insurance, I think that if you truly can't afford it, then yes the government should help you out, but I don't think that I want the government telling me what I can and can't do for my diet. By 2014, each individual person will have to have their BMI recorded to their health care provider. Which means, if my BMI is too high, the government then is allowed to tell me what I can and can't eat, and put me on a diet. SORRY NO. I understand the obesity problem, but since when is it my fault that other people are obese? That may sound super insensitive, but because a large group of people can't choose to eat healthy, and not eat at Mc Donald's everyday, I have to suffer? Because the government cut funding to our schools, which in turn cut funding for PE classes and after school sports, I have to suffer? Why is it the government's responsibility to make sure we are healthy? Aren't we responsible for ourselves? Laws are in place to not hurt each other, and to be safe, so yes we need some guidance. But this kind of control is too much.
Insurance is expensive because the cost of the procedures. And the equipment. And the malpractice lawsuits. And the salaries of the Drs. And the cost of research. So here's an example of why its so high: I had a surgery about 4 months ago, that fixed a deviated septum (I had less than 25% airflow through my nose) and my tonsils removed. I paid a total of $3500 for this surgery (my insurance covered 90%- with a max payment from me being $2500). I received a bill from my doctor, for approx. $8,000, showing me what my insurance was expected to pay, and then the remainder to me. Well, I wanted to make sure that I didn't overpay, because we all know doctors won't give refunds, so I waited for my insurance quote. I got the insurance quote, and my insurance was charged over $27,000. For the hospital facilities, anesthesia,etc... now mind you, over $15,000 of that was because I had to stay overnight. Because of a doctors mistake. I aspirated during surgery, because he had messed up and was careless and had somehow gotten blood in my air tube down my throat, and into my lungs. It was supposed to be an outpatient surgery. I wasn't supposed to stay overnight. Meaning this $15,000 charged to my insurance, in which I had to pay $1500 towards, was HIS mistake. So why is it, that even though the Doctor screwed up, I have to pay? I think this is partly the reason why insurance is so high. If a doctor screws up, or complications occur because of that mistake, that the doctor should be charged. He should have to pay for it. I shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes. If doctors had to pay for their mistakes, I can guarantee that less mistakes would be made, because they would be more careful and extra cautious.
Also, this Obamacare, will now pay for abortions. I'm sorry, I am not against abortions. Sometimes its better than having a child. But why does the government have to pay for them? In the case of causing pain or issues to the mother, insurance can cover that. In the case of rape, and incestuous relationships, yes the government should step in. But because horny people can't be smart and use protection, why should the government pay for it??? People use abortions as birth control. Trust me. I know. I've seen girls in the clinic for their 4Th one, when they already have 3 kids. HELLO. USE PROTECTION. I think if you're dumb enough to not use protection, you suffer the consequences. It's called being responsible. If you can't afford a $400 procedure, if in case you do get pregnant, don't have sex. Control yourself. Be responsible for yourself. Buy a $10 box of condoms. Seriously, this shouldn't be rocket science here.
Now, I'm not 100% up to date on the health care policy, and I don't know everything there is about it, and I'm not saying go after the big man, but there are things that need to be fixed, and I would love to trust my government to do the right thing. I am sick of everyone blaming the other party. If its a republican complaining, its Obama's fault, if its a democrat, its Bush's fault. I hate to break it to ya, they don't have ALL the power. Congress has some. But I would love to see our president be a little more bipartisan. I'm sick of every time he makes a speech about something going wrong, it's always the previous guys' fault. When will he set an example for the rest of the politicians to not play the blame game, and try to be bipartisan. When will he step up and be a leader for the entire country and not just the Democrats? I will never vote for him, and I didn't the first time. But I really hope the people who did realize that this man isn't presidential material. He's not the complete idiot that I once thought, hell he was good enough to get enough votes to become president, and I'm sure he's done some good. For the democrats. But I hope that America wakes up and realize just where our country is headed, and they have the balls to stand up and fight for our America, the way our Founding Fathers had for us to be able to make these choices. I pray that the the next president doesn't affiliate with a party, but is truly an independent, and believes in the justice for our people, and faith in our people to have them do the right things for themselves. Who isn't strictly Republican or Democrat, but has views on both sides favorably. I know that's a lot to ask. But a girl can dream. Right???
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
It's the little things in life....
After my ranting yesterday, I realized it's the little things in life that matter. Well I actually knew that a long time ago, but it became more apparent today. I think I had one of the best nights tonight, that didn't involve going out or getting all dressed up. Who knew being sweaty after the gym could lead into such an amazing adventure?
See, my best friend, Monica, and I have these times when we just want to drive, mainly so we can sing loudly in the car, and dance obnoxiously, and try out our accents. We haven't had a car night in a long time, so tonight was definitely over due. Our night started at the gym, where we probably sweat more out of our bodies than a whale shoots water out of his spout, but it was well needed. We then, for some reason unknown to us, drove to a specialty store down near Dana Point/San Clemente area, then drove back home on PCH, and took the scenic route home. It sounds weird but it was a good date. LOL. We call it that, because it really is like we are married, so why not. Car rides have become some of my favorite memories, whether it is stuck on the freeway dancing, center console cartending, backseat bartending, or caraoke, its always fun.
I think that is what I would miss most if I moved to Vegas. Its not the getting dressed up going out to the bars, its the random times when you call up a friend and meet them for lunch. When you're bored at home so you and your roommate go driving just to sing loudly and dance weirdly. I could live with missing out on a few key nights when everyone is going out, but what I would be most jealous of are the friends who can call each other up and just meet for lunch because they are bored, or someone to go shopping with. If I move, its like I'm breaking up with my best friend, as Monica put it tonight. It's not like our friendship would end, but we wouldn't be at each others disposal like we are now. Who else am I going to cry to when someone decides they don't want to date me right as I walk in the door? Who do I yell across the house to when something funny is on the television? Who do I have to go to the grocery store with? It's not like I'm moving with my husband, I'd be going alone. Starting over alone. Part of it is really appealing. Being in a house rent free, working, going to school, starting fresh. But what happens when its midnight, there's nothing good on tv, all my homework is done, and I'm in the mood for the "drive" night??? I don't have anyone to go with. I don't have someone to call up and say go to In n Out with me. Or let's go to the gym.
I have a lot of decisions to make coming up. Stay in Cali or move to Vegas? Pick your Major. (which I have, but its not declared). Get a job. Where do I want to work? I'm just praying that whatever choice I make is the right one for me, and I'm hoping that my friendships don't change if I move. I know its hard for them not to change, but that's what I fear most. What happens when I come home for a weekend? Are my friends going to be too busy to see me? Or is it going to be "we'll try to get together", or "maybe next time for sure".
So if you have any advice on what I should do, just go for the move, or stay, I'd love to hear. I'm probably going to end up posting a pro's and con's list for moving, so we'll have to wait and see. Good night world. I'll see you tomorrow.
See, my best friend, Monica, and I have these times when we just want to drive, mainly so we can sing loudly in the car, and dance obnoxiously, and try out our accents. We haven't had a car night in a long time, so tonight was definitely over due. Our night started at the gym, where we probably sweat more out of our bodies than a whale shoots water out of his spout, but it was well needed. We then, for some reason unknown to us, drove to a specialty store down near Dana Point/San Clemente area, then drove back home on PCH, and took the scenic route home. It sounds weird but it was a good date. LOL. We call it that, because it really is like we are married, so why not. Car rides have become some of my favorite memories, whether it is stuck on the freeway dancing, center console cartending, backseat bartending, or caraoke, its always fun.
I think that is what I would miss most if I moved to Vegas. Its not the getting dressed up going out to the bars, its the random times when you call up a friend and meet them for lunch. When you're bored at home so you and your roommate go driving just to sing loudly and dance weirdly. I could live with missing out on a few key nights when everyone is going out, but what I would be most jealous of are the friends who can call each other up and just meet for lunch because they are bored, or someone to go shopping with. If I move, its like I'm breaking up with my best friend, as Monica put it tonight. It's not like our friendship would end, but we wouldn't be at each others disposal like we are now. Who else am I going to cry to when someone decides they don't want to date me right as I walk in the door? Who do I yell across the house to when something funny is on the television? Who do I have to go to the grocery store with? It's not like I'm moving with my husband, I'd be going alone. Starting over alone. Part of it is really appealing. Being in a house rent free, working, going to school, starting fresh. But what happens when its midnight, there's nothing good on tv, all my homework is done, and I'm in the mood for the "drive" night??? I don't have anyone to go with. I don't have someone to call up and say go to In n Out with me. Or let's go to the gym.
I have a lot of decisions to make coming up. Stay in Cali or move to Vegas? Pick your Major. (which I have, but its not declared). Get a job. Where do I want to work? I'm just praying that whatever choice I make is the right one for me, and I'm hoping that my friendships don't change if I move. I know its hard for them not to change, but that's what I fear most. What happens when I come home for a weekend? Are my friends going to be too busy to see me? Or is it going to be "we'll try to get together", or "maybe next time for sure".
So if you have any advice on what I should do, just go for the move, or stay, I'd love to hear. I'm probably going to end up posting a pro's and con's list for moving, so we'll have to wait and see. Good night world. I'll see you tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
To the men in my life: Past, Present and Future
Ok, so I'm going to come out and say it. Most of you disappoint me. I'm not talking about all the men in my life, my family is excluded, but a majority of you have disappointed me. I know some of you out there are really great guys, and I'm blessed to have you as friends. But some of you other ones out there need a lesson on how to treat a woman. If you even think I'm talking about you, then yes I am. I'm tired of seeing my friends get hurt, or waste their time and energy on guys that just were never taught the right way on how to treat a woman, or who were taught and ignored the lesson. I'm tired of getting hurt or wasting my time on those types of guys too. SO here's a few ground rules for you to go by, follow them if you wish, and if you don't - I'll pray for you.
1) Here's the deal. Its cute when you trash the previous guy before you to us. Its even cuter when you tell us that you could never do what he did. Here's where you screw up. You do it. You may not do it in the same fashion he did, but you do it nonetheless. Case in point, you will see parts of a conversation, and no background information will be given, i.e. how long they were dating for, previous conversations, previous dates/outings/weekends together....
Guy: "Wow, you and your friends have dated some pretty messed up guys. I don't see how, because you guys are all really good girls."
Girl: "I think it's just because we want to believe there is good in everyone. Either that or our radar is off, and we just don't know how to pick them."
Guy: "I could never do half the stuff that was done to you guys." and a few hours later, after a pretty awesome date.....
Guy: "I don't think we should date anymore. I don't want to worry about meeting someone and taking them out to dinner and hurting you. I just can't be committed to you the way I was (a week ago). I know we have an amazing connection, and I don't want to lose that. I just don't want to commit to anyone. I don't want to worry about being with you one night, and then taking someone else out a few nights later."
Girl: "ummm...OK."
Guy: "I mean, you're an awesome girl, and I like spending time with you, and we have an amazing connection, but I never showed emotions growing up, and neither did my family. Plus I just moved out here and want to meet new people, (guy code for meet new girls to hook up with), and I wasn't in a good place when I broke up with my ex....8 months ago."
Girl: "OK. Sure." about an hour later.
Text: Guy: Thanks for a great time tonight! I had a lot of fun. Have a good day tomorrow"
HELLOOOO??? Am I missing something here. A) He gave her like 10 different excuses on why they couldn't date. B) Why text her after he told her he didn't want to be with her to have a good day the next day, and saying that the night was a ton of fun. For him maybe, did it even occur to him that the whole part after the date pretty much ruined her night???
So guys: don't bash on the previous guy until you are a million percent positive you are going to be better than him. It just lumps you into the same category as the others when you pull stuff like this. Oh- and unless the girl is a shrink, the childhood blame it on the parents excuse doesn't really work too well. I mean, I could blame the whole I can't be in a successful relationship thing coming from a divorced family, but I don't. I think its irresponsible to claim things like that, and a void of ownership. Relationships work because people want them to, and it is work. Its not a walk in the park. And if it takes you longer to get over your ex, then the time you guys were together. You're over her, you're just wanting to go out and do whatever and not be committed. Admit it.
2) Don't make plans, then not follow through. Or Talk future and have no intentions of following through. Case in point: Lets say a guy, oh I dunno, drives down to San Diego because you ask him to, at 1 am. It's about an hour and a half drive. So he gets out of bed, drives down just because you asked him to, and then basically acts like prince charming all night. The next day, he tells you, I want to take you on an actual date. You are amazing. I don't know how you're still single. You are gorgeous, smart, funny, fun to be around, etc.... Your thinking to yourself well I ask myself that everyday.... about a week of calls, texts, etc goes by, but no mention of dinner, or anything. Oooook. So one day you just stop texting him and wait for him to text you. Except he doesn't, for over a month.... whatever. Just like the ones before him, no follow through. Guys, you should know this, to throw a football, swing a tennis racket, hit a golf ball, the most important part isn't the strength you put behind it (it plays a part yes) but its the FOLLOW THROUGH. Strength is only good if you know how to follow through with the motion.... the saying actions speak louder than words ring a bell????
3) When a girl says no, she normally means it. Unless, its a guy asking to make it up to you for not texting for a month.... (see above) A girl is not going to say yes make it up to me, when you already failed her once. She's going to tell you too late. But then when you try to be funny, by claiming that you died and got stuck in the "in-between" and you were a ghost, expect a smart ass remark like, ummm ghosts normally haunt, and there was no haunting here.... she's not going to let you by on this one. If you truly wanted to make it up to her, you would do something. Make a gesture, anything. BUT DO SOMETHING. Don't ask for permission. Show up to her show that is her debut performance, and support her, she only supported 2 of your shows, its only right. Sometimes guys, you just need to be the romantic that I know all of you have somewhere deep inside of you, and let it out.
4) Make her Laugh. Simple right? It makes sense. When someone makes you laugh, and you already have some sort of relationship going, laughing is probably one of the easiest ways to get her to like you. If she is constantly laughing and having a good time with you, you're going to be on her mind. You may be nothing like the other guys she's dated, and she may have no idea why she likes you but she does. Go with it. It makes it easier to get to know someone when they are happy and not feeling vulnerable. So it may not be 100% effective, but I can tell you I'd rather be with someone who makes me laugh vs someone who's my type, and completely boring.
5) Chivalry is NOT DEAD. Opening doors, and standing when she excuses herself from the table, extremely sexy. Paying for a first date? Even better. I can tell you, I will not go on a second date with a guy if he lets me pay. There are a few circumstances where I think the girl should pay, if she asked him for instance... but if he asks me- and he lets me pay on a first date it is also a last date. I have a rule, I don't mind paying my way, or even his way, its got to be a give and take. First date, I truly believe a guy should pay. I will offer twice, and if he refuses, he earns major points with me. But if after the first date, you notice that she's always paying, she's waiting for you to step in and say, no- you are not paying tonight. Its my treat.... she's waiting for that. She's just independent, and sometimes forgets to let someone else take care of her. Never a bad thing.
That's my ranting for now. Hopefully you guys who treat girls badly, or think that they can talk their way into someones pants, and have no intentions of following through, get over yourselves. It is not a good quality to have. Just because your horny does not give you the right to go out and toy with a girls heart, just to get some. Its disgusting. So good night. Sweet Dreams!!!
1) Here's the deal. Its cute when you trash the previous guy before you to us. Its even cuter when you tell us that you could never do what he did. Here's where you screw up. You do it. You may not do it in the same fashion he did, but you do it nonetheless. Case in point, you will see parts of a conversation, and no background information will be given, i.e. how long they were dating for, previous conversations, previous dates/outings/weekends together....
Guy: "Wow, you and your friends have dated some pretty messed up guys. I don't see how, because you guys are all really good girls."
Girl: "I think it's just because we want to believe there is good in everyone. Either that or our radar is off, and we just don't know how to pick them."
Guy: "I could never do half the stuff that was done to you guys." and a few hours later, after a pretty awesome date.....
Guy: "I don't think we should date anymore. I don't want to worry about meeting someone and taking them out to dinner and hurting you. I just can't be committed to you the way I was (a week ago). I know we have an amazing connection, and I don't want to lose that. I just don't want to commit to anyone. I don't want to worry about being with you one night, and then taking someone else out a few nights later."
Girl: "ummm...OK."
Guy: "I mean, you're an awesome girl, and I like spending time with you, and we have an amazing connection, but I never showed emotions growing up, and neither did my family. Plus I just moved out here and want to meet new people, (guy code for meet new girls to hook up with), and I wasn't in a good place when I broke up with my ex....8 months ago."
Girl: "OK. Sure." about an hour later.
Text: Guy: Thanks for a great time tonight! I had a lot of fun. Have a good day tomorrow"
HELLOOOO??? Am I missing something here. A) He gave her like 10 different excuses on why they couldn't date. B) Why text her after he told her he didn't want to be with her to have a good day the next day, and saying that the night was a ton of fun. For him maybe, did it even occur to him that the whole part after the date pretty much ruined her night???
So guys: don't bash on the previous guy until you are a million percent positive you are going to be better than him. It just lumps you into the same category as the others when you pull stuff like this. Oh- and unless the girl is a shrink, the childhood blame it on the parents excuse doesn't really work too well. I mean, I could blame the whole I can't be in a successful relationship thing coming from a divorced family, but I don't. I think its irresponsible to claim things like that, and a void of ownership. Relationships work because people want them to, and it is work. Its not a walk in the park. And if it takes you longer to get over your ex, then the time you guys were together. You're over her, you're just wanting to go out and do whatever and not be committed. Admit it.
2) Don't make plans, then not follow through. Or Talk future and have no intentions of following through. Case in point: Lets say a guy, oh I dunno, drives down to San Diego because you ask him to, at 1 am. It's about an hour and a half drive. So he gets out of bed, drives down just because you asked him to, and then basically acts like prince charming all night. The next day, he tells you, I want to take you on an actual date. You are amazing. I don't know how you're still single. You are gorgeous, smart, funny, fun to be around, etc.... Your thinking to yourself well I ask myself that everyday.... about a week of calls, texts, etc goes by, but no mention of dinner, or anything. Oooook. So one day you just stop texting him and wait for him to text you. Except he doesn't, for over a month.... whatever. Just like the ones before him, no follow through. Guys, you should know this, to throw a football, swing a tennis racket, hit a golf ball, the most important part isn't the strength you put behind it (it plays a part yes) but its the FOLLOW THROUGH. Strength is only good if you know how to follow through with the motion.... the saying actions speak louder than words ring a bell????
3) When a girl says no, she normally means it. Unless, its a guy asking to make it up to you for not texting for a month.... (see above) A girl is not going to say yes make it up to me, when you already failed her once. She's going to tell you too late. But then when you try to be funny, by claiming that you died and got stuck in the "in-between" and you were a ghost, expect a smart ass remark like, ummm ghosts normally haunt, and there was no haunting here.... she's not going to let you by on this one. If you truly wanted to make it up to her, you would do something. Make a gesture, anything. BUT DO SOMETHING. Don't ask for permission. Show up to her show that is her debut performance, and support her, she only supported 2 of your shows, its only right. Sometimes guys, you just need to be the romantic that I know all of you have somewhere deep inside of you, and let it out.
4) Make her Laugh. Simple right? It makes sense. When someone makes you laugh, and you already have some sort of relationship going, laughing is probably one of the easiest ways to get her to like you. If she is constantly laughing and having a good time with you, you're going to be on her mind. You may be nothing like the other guys she's dated, and she may have no idea why she likes you but she does. Go with it. It makes it easier to get to know someone when they are happy and not feeling vulnerable. So it may not be 100% effective, but I can tell you I'd rather be with someone who makes me laugh vs someone who's my type, and completely boring.
5) Chivalry is NOT DEAD. Opening doors, and standing when she excuses herself from the table, extremely sexy. Paying for a first date? Even better. I can tell you, I will not go on a second date with a guy if he lets me pay. There are a few circumstances where I think the girl should pay, if she asked him for instance... but if he asks me- and he lets me pay on a first date it is also a last date. I have a rule, I don't mind paying my way, or even his way, its got to be a give and take. First date, I truly believe a guy should pay. I will offer twice, and if he refuses, he earns major points with me. But if after the first date, you notice that she's always paying, she's waiting for you to step in and say, no- you are not paying tonight. Its my treat.... she's waiting for that. She's just independent, and sometimes forgets to let someone else take care of her. Never a bad thing.
That's my ranting for now. Hopefully you guys who treat girls badly, or think that they can talk their way into someones pants, and have no intentions of following through, get over yourselves. It is not a good quality to have. Just because your horny does not give you the right to go out and toy with a girls heart, just to get some. Its disgusting. So good night. Sweet Dreams!!!
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